Miami Marlins' (Rumored) New Logo: Really Bad, But Not The Worst Possible

By Jon Bois

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Sep 21, 2011 - Tuesday night, we caught wind of a rumored new logo for the soon-to-be-Miami Marlins. The logo is not scheduled to be officially unveiled until Nov. 11th, and the Marlins will not confirm or deny the authenticity of this logo, which first popped up on a sports logos message board:

First, the positives: In this age of every other sports team cracking apart its logo and buffering it into an aerodynamic, futuristic abomination, I really do appreciate the ambition at work here. That color scheme is not in vogue. Neither is the font; nor are the sharp edges.

But while I sincerely applaud the effort and spirit behind this, I'm afraid that this dog won't hunt. The "M" looks like 1982 Atari, and the weirdly off-center marlin looks like 2002 hockey. It's just a profoundly weird aesthetic clash; it looks like two refrigerator magnets got stuck on one another.

So, yes, bad logo. Is it the very worst possible logo, though? No, it isn't, and as proof, I present to you a series of mock-ups sent to the Marlins' front office that didn't quite make the cut. Here they are. They're really, really bad.

 

1.

Rationale behind this logo: The baseball is meant to represent the fact that this is the logo of a baseball team. There is a glass of water because it is important to stay hydrated.

Constructive criticism: The baseball actually has far too many seams, as an actual baseball does not feature three seams that are sewn across the baseball. Such a ball could allow for some very strange pitches, however. Creative!

It is very important to stay hydrated, especially while exercising on hot days. That said, not only is the glass of water strangely off-center, it just doesn't quite make sense within the context of this logo.

 

2.

Rationale behind this logo: In today's dot-com world, it's important to engage an audience via social media. Directing fans to view the logo at the Marlins' website will drive traffic and really help to drive a conversation. Talk about "going viral"! This is a logo that could burst the dot-com bubble, literally.

Constructive criticism: Way to try and harness the power of the web to drive your business! Unfortunately, placing this logo on all team signage might be asking too much of fans, even in today's Web 2.0 climate. This text would probably be too small to make out on uniforms.

Computers do not use that font or make beeping noises anymore, but it sure would be great if they did!

3.

Rationale behind this logo: This literally ain't your grandma's baseball team! The Miami Marlins want to create an edgy, in-your-face image, and putting all sorts of radical stuff on the logo is the way to do it.

Constructive criticism: Rock on! A little "bad attitude" is just what the N.L. East needs these days to shake things up. Indeed, these are all really radical and extreme objects, but I feel that the finished product is a little lacking in focus. Perhaps you could just choose one of these things?

This could also potentially confuse your fan base. They might think that you were instructing them to eat dirt, which would probably hurt their feelings.

 

4.

Rationale behind this logo: I am a huge fan of Home Improvement: The Television Show. Wouldn't it be great if Tim "The Tool Man" Taylor and his friends and family all played on a Major League Baseball team? I think that it would be great if they did.

Constructive criticism: Ha! Yes, I think that would be really swell if this came to pass. Unfortunately, these actors have gotten on with their lives since this show ended, and even if they did want to play for the Marlins, I don't feel they would have enough skill to play at the major-league level.

 

5.

Rationale behind this logo: With the air no longer fit to breathe, the Marlins were forced to abandon their home planet of Florida and search for a new home somewhere in the stars. But in the Miami Galaxy, they will encounter friend and foe alike, and things are not always what they seem! Kevin Sorbo stars as Manager Jack McKeon in an adventure of universal proportions! It's all part of UPN's fall lineup. Check your local listings.

Constructive criticism: WHAT

Update: Apparently it's real.

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