On The Matt Holliday Moth Incident

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Monday evening, Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday was removed from a game because a moth flew into his ear and got stuck. Here are thoughts about that.

Aug 23, 2011 - The St. Louis Cardinals played the Los Angeles Dodgers Monday night. It wasn't a game that meant much - the Dodgers began Monday in last place, while the Cardinals had fallen well behind the Brewers. Nevertheless, the game itself was close, and the Cardinals held a slim 1-0 lead in the top of the eighth. And it was with two outs in the top of the eighth that Cardinals left fielder Matt Holliday had to be removed. Not because he was injured. Not because he was ejected.

A moth had flown into his ear and gotten stuck.

Holliday couldn't play with a moth in his ear, so he was replaced.

It's one of the weirdest things I've ever heard, and following are some of my thoughts. They are not very long.

Let's say that somebody told you that Matt Holliday was removed because a moth got stuck in him. Let's say that you didn't hear properly, and replied "a what got stuck in him?!" When the other person clarified "a moth," you would respond with a sigh of relief. This is because a moth is among the best things that can get stuck in a person on a baseball field, or at least among the least worst.

The Cardinals' trainer bolted out of the dugout. As he should have. Consider what he saw. He saw Matt Holliday suddenly clutching at his ear, in considerable discomfort. The trainer at least found out what was wrong a few seconds later. Imagine being a fan in the stadium. The fans in the stadium probably had no idea for quite some time. It's scary when people suddenly experience problems with their heads.

This is a picture of Matt Holliday clutching at his ear because there's a moth in it. However, this could also be a picture of Matt Holliday taking a very important phone call. That sounds ridiculous now, but only because we already know about the moth. When you woke up Monday morning, you probably would've thought it more likely that Holliday would take a phone call than get a moth stuck in his ear. They would've at least been about equal.

Being in pain always sucks. However, people will respond to you differently depending on the reason.

Broken leg: genuine sympathy

Canker sore: indifference

Moth in ear: laughter at your expense

A baseball player getting a moth in his ear seems to be the approximate equivalent of a baseball player getting a ball to the nuts. It royally sucks for the player, and it's hilarious to everyone else.

Holliday: Listen up guys, I have an idea.
New Era: Fire away.
Holliday: You keep baseball hats the way they are now...
Holliday: Except you include little flaps that fold down over the ears.
New Era: Why would we do that?
Holliday: Moths.
New Era: Moths?
Holliday: To keep the moths out.
New Era: To keep the moths out of what?
Holliday: The ears.
New Era: Oh, that's a great idea.
Holliday: Thanks, I-
New Era: And we could add full face shields, too.
Holliday:
New Era: To keep the moths out of the face.
Holliday: You don't understand.
New Era: Who would?

This is a close-up of a baseball player's ear. You never really notice a baseball player's ears. Why would you? We watch these players all the time, and still there are these big fleshy bits hanging off the sides of their heads we don't think about until they get moths stuck in them.

The spokesman said that that the bug was still alive after it was removed, and that Holliday kept it.

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Jeff Sullivan

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I started blogging about the Seattle Mariners at Leone For Third in December of 2003, and I joined SBN and founded Lookout Landing in January 2005. I can see outside from my room, which is good... Read full bio

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Other features by Jeff Sullivan

The Grandeur And Disappointment Of Kerry Wood - May 18
On One's Perplexing Hittability - May 18
Let's Talk About Defensive Shifting - May 17
The Instant Fear Of Bryce Harper - May 17
The Infuriating Jose Molina - May 16

Comments

Forget

about whether Holliday ever touched home plate against San Diego in 2007. This is his defining moment as a baseball player (or not).

"No Mission Too Difficult, No Sacrifice Too Great—Duty First" - 1st Infantry Division Motto

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by Russ Oates on Aug 23, 2011 9:19 AM EDT reply actions

But did he name the bug and offer it a good home, or stomp it out of existance, so as to assert his dominance over the insect?

I’dda stomp’d the thing to death. WU-TANG!!!!

To my knowledge, certain things were not known.
-James Murdoch

by 2ndHalfAdjustments on Aug 23, 2011 9:51 AM EDT reply actions

this is the best baseball article involving a moth ever written

trut.

by gonfalon on Aug 23, 2011 10:40 AM EDT reply actions

So what does he name his new pet moth?

by SeattExPat on Aug 23, 2011 11:16 AM EDT reply actions

Wonderful Terrific Moths

by Grant Brisbee on Aug 23, 2011 11:21 AM EDT up reply actions 2 recs

Well played, Brisbee

Well played.

by GBSimons on Aug 23, 2011 11:51 AM EDT up reply actions

Jeff, I'm disappointed

Matt Holliday gets a bug in the ear and not once in your column do you reference the Chekov scene from Star Trek 2: the Wrath of Kahn.
Tsk, tsk.

They say Holliday is an adventure in LF, they aren’t kidding. Last time I paid any attention to the big lug out there, he was taking a fly ball off the cup in the 9th inning to cough up that playoff game in LA. Vin Scully called him “the loneliest man in Los Angeles.” I wonder how he feels now.

by yg bluig on Aug 23, 2011 11:35 AM EDT reply actions

We always called these the "killer moths" at Dodger Stadium because of their

size and lunatic aggressive behavior. Holliday must have big ears for one of those to get lodged in there.

"It's our money," owner Arte Moreno said.

by 44FAN on Aug 23, 2011 1:05 PM EDT reply actions

The Holliday Effect

If a moth flaps its wings in St. Louis, in Central Park you get earthquakes instead of sunshine.

by csupp on Aug 23, 2011 4:16 PM EDT reply actions

Sort of disappointed

After mentioning this:

A baseball player getting a moth in his ear seems to be the approximate equivalent of a baseball player getting a ball to the nuts. It royally sucks for the player, and it’s hilarious to everyone else.

That this wasn’t included:

Juan "Doesn't Cheat The Game" Perez, future CF for the World Champion San Francisco Giants.
"And besides, if I wanted to participate in a mindless patriotic ritual where my voice isn’t really heard, I would vote." - Chris Marcil

by marcello on Aug 23, 2011 6:54 PM EDT reply actions