Rangers vs. Cardinals: Effete European Briefly Interrupts Game

Well, I'm just guessing that he was an effete European because he threw like this:

Not to engage in stereotypes, but Europeans are better at kicking things. There's no way that a red-blooded 'Merican -- especially one from Texas, where they inject steaks into their arteries with hypodermic needles -- could throw like that.

That's the guy. In the bottom of the seventh inning, that guy threw a ball at Matt Holliday, who was waiting to catch an Adrian Beltre fly ball. The perp is likely from Germany, Estonia, or Canada. One of those Euro places where they kick things to each other. It's not wrong; it's just different.

There's a lesson to be learned: if you throw like a weenie, you shouldn't throw things in public. What he did was stupid. Throwing things onto a baseball field is stupid. Throwing a gopher nuzzler at 4 m.p.h. is stupid and humiliating. 

He also looks like a giraffe licked his head. He should get that checked out too.